Manufacturing Consent - Boys and Girls Talking About Relationships and Parameters

Relationships, they’re complex but you will find that at the heart of every successful one is an ability to communicate one’s feelings and boundaries. These are skills and as skills they can be learned and improved upon.

Often young people are left to their own devices when it comes to working out the complexities of intimate relationships, and the result of that is the often dysfunctional way in which relationships play out, some work others fall into ugliness and in the worst cases violence.

School is a good place to start when it comes to instilling relationship etiquette and all girls Strathcona in Melbourne is on the front foot when it comes to educating students about love, sex and partnerships.

In an all-girls school setting, including boys in consent workshops promotes mutual understanding and respect, which is essential for creating healthy and respectful relationships.

Facilitating workshops in a co-educational environment encourages open dialogue and allows boys to gain insight into girls’ perspectives and experiences. By sharing an understanding of consent and respectful behaviour, this can help dismantle harmful gender stereotypes and misconceptions - which is crucial given the concerning statistics on gender-based violence in Australia.

Megan Boyd, Dean of Students at Strathcona Girls Grammar says, “Our consent education workshops align with the Victorian Curriculum (Health and Physical Education and Personal and Social Health) standards and are informed by current research in adolescent health and wellbeing. The content is tailored to the specific needs of the students, ensuring it is relevant to their experiences and challenges. Plus, we structure the environment to allow students to create and share scenarios that reflect real-life experiences.

“Workshops focus on empowering students with the knowledge, skills, and attitudes necessary to make conscious, healthy, and respectful choices about relationships.”

During workshops, students are divided into small mixed groups of about 12-18 students, with each group working with a facilitator. The session starts by establishing the structure and guidelines for the workshop. Interactive formats co-created with students - such as discussions, role-plays, and scenario-based activities - are then introduced to actively engage students.

“It’s beneficial to schedule workshops at key stages in students’ education, such as Year 9, when they are beginning to navigate more complex social and romantic relationships. Partnering with experienced facilitators, such as those from Elephant Ed, is also essential to deliver content effectively in a co-educational setting. Plus, investing in staff upskilling is an important consideration,” Boyd says.

The cringe factor is always there, and the trick is facilitating workshops and encouraging conversations given the sensitivity of the content.

Boyd says, “Normalising conversations about respectful relationships and consent within the school’s broader curriculum helps make these topics a regular part of students’ education."

Additionally, creating a safe and supportive environment, and using age-appropriate language, can help students feel comfortable discussing sensitive topics.

“Resources with interactive activities such as Resilience, Rights and Respectful Relationships, can be helpful to prompt discussion and problem-solving. Plus, working in small groups allows students to discuss and share ideas with their peers, without having to share with the teacher, or facilitator in a large group. Even if students don’t feel comfortable sharing, they are listening and participating.

“However, the most important aspect is encouraging empathy in students by having them consider situations from multiple perspectives, helping them understand and respect each other's boundaries.”

The workshops are effective, many students have expressed appreciation for the opportunity to engage in open and honest discussions about consent and relationships in a mixed-gender setting. Students’ positive feedback reflects an increased understanding of consent, improved communication skills, and greater confidence in setting and respecting boundaries.

“Workshops have contributed to a noticeable shift in students’ attitudes toward relationships, encouraging a stronger focus on respect and mutual understanding. It’s been interesting to hear what students of both genders are experiencing, thinking and sharing,” Boyd says.

“Workshops are incorporated into the school’s regular curriculum and enrichment programs. Strathcona ensures workshops are seen as an essential part of the students’ education.

“My advice to other schools would be to partner with experts to upskill staff or co-design a curriculum that is both age-appropriate and relevant to students' needs. Ensure facilitators are well-trained and skilled in handling sensitive topics with care and empathy. Consider team-teaching with facilitators or colleagues in the first instance before shifting to deliver the content independently. 

“Engaging parents and the broader school community in discussions about consent is also crucial to reinforce the lessons learned in workshops. It’s important to continuously assess the effectiveness of the workshops and adapt them based on student feedback to ensure they remain relevant and impactful.

“Teaching consent is not only critical to prevent harm but also for fostering positive, healthy relationships based on mutual respect and clear communication,” she says.

Image by Sebastian