Reframing for Positive Teenager Outcomes

Teenagers today are under more pressure than ever - academically, emotionally, socially. And while we can’t eliminate all the challenges they face; we can equip them with tools to manage them.

Reframing is a simple but powerful mindset tool that helps teens turn challenges into growth opportunities.

What is Reframing?
Reframing is a psychological technique used to help someone shift their mindset from ‘doom and gloom’ towards a more positive and constructive outlook.

It can be used to question, adjust, or eliminate unhelpful or negative thought patterns.

Someone who is good at reframing may be described as having a ‘glass half full’ mentality.

This simple technique can be done anywhere, anytime, by anyone - with intention and conscious conversations.

“If we don’t change, we don’t grow.
If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.”
-    Gail Sheehy  

Why is Reframing Crucial for Teenagers?
Adults understand that challenges and changes are part of life.

But through lack of life experience, many teenagers don’t know this. Instead, they may catastrophize situations and translate challenges or change into something ‘bad’ or the end of their world.

Long term, this way of thinking and being is not good for their health.

Catastrophising can trigger feelings of helplessness, sadness, anger, or fear. This can lead to low self-esteem, unhealthy relationships with self and others, unstable moods, eating disorders, anxiety, and even depression.

That’s why reframing is a crucial life skill for teens.

It helps them shift their reactions and responses to everyday challenges and change from doom and gloom or poor me to empowerment.

It also helps them build self-awareness, self-confidence, emotional intelligence, and trust in their own ability to get through moments in time that test them.

Plus, there’s a bigger health benefit.

By learning how to reframe their outlook, expectations, and reactions to challenges and changes, they will also be less likely to develop a chronic mental health issue.

Here are tips and tools you can use to help them reframe their mindset.

Tip: Stay Neutral
When a teen is struggling with a challenge or change, adults can help by consciously neutralising the words and tone that they use. In doing so, adults can help lower fear and anxiety levels in a teen.

For example, instead of saying - "that’s going to be scary", you could say "what are you looking forward to about x?"

Avoid transferring your personal fears onto a teen. Instead, try to take a neutral approach to the situation.

For example - avoid saying "I remember doing x – it was really hard". Or "I really hated x - it was the worst thing I’ve ever done!"

Instead, aim to reassure them. For example - "This is something new - but I’m sure you’ll be ok!"

Or "That sounds great. Maybe you can give me some lessons after x."

Reset: challenges and changes
Challenges help us develop new skills, test our skills/capability, help us learn, help us identify our strengths, expand our thinking, build trust in ourselves, and help us grow emotionally and mentally. We often learn the most through our challenges – including the times when we fail, lose, or something doesn’t work out how we expected.

Changes allow us to do or try something different. When we do something different, we open ourselves up to new and exciting opportunities and experiences. This may include meeting new people, building new friendships, discovering what we like vs. don’t like.

Tip: Use "what if…?"
To encourage teenagers to shift their focus from negativity towards positivity and possibility, try introducing ‘what if…?’ questions and statements.

Here are some examples.

If a teenager is stressing about taking exams, try saying "What if…you do better than you think?"

If they are afraid of doing something new, try asking "What if…you knew everything would be ok?"

If they fear they’ve missed out on something or feel like they have lost something, you could help them by asking "What if x isn’t meant for you? What if…there’s something even better?"

Encourage them to use their own words to shift their outlook or expectations. Ask them to start every sentence with ‘what if..?’ and put a positive slant on the situation.

Tip: Encourage a Growth Mindset
If teens are afraid of losing, looking silly, or making a mistake they may avoid challenges.

Long term, this can hinder their self-development and confidence levels. It can also result in them becoming risk adverse adults.

To support their self-development and build their resilience, encourage them to have a ‘give it a go’ mindset.

If things don’t work out, they fail, or are not as successful as they would have liked, reassure them that it’s ok.

Try to help them understand that not everything will work out, every time. And that’s ok.

A growth mindset can also be encouraged by using self-reflection questions.

For example - what went well? What didn’t go well? If you could do things differently in the future, what would you do?

When they share their answers, help them identify what is and isn’t in their realm of control. This will help relieve any underlying anxiety or guilt about the situation.

Tip: Help them Identify their Feelings
When learning to reframe, it is also important to encourage teens to write or share their feelings. Aim to provide a safe, non-judgemental space for them to do this.

Reassure them that there are no bad feelings. But encourage them to express their emotions and thoughts without name calling or blaming anyone (including themselves).

Simply ask - "how do you feel about that?"

If they express unhelpful thoughts or feelings, encourage them to dig deeper. 

For example - "why do you feel x about x?"

Doing this exercise will help them connect the dots between their thoughts and feelings, build self-awareness, and emotional intelligence.

Long Term Benefits
Through learning how to reframe, teens can support themselves through life’s many twists and turns.

They’ll also develop a healthy relationship with themselves, that will translate into healthier relationships with others.

Bronwyn Frazer is a health writer, author, and clinical nutritionist. She has a Bachelor of Arts in Communications and a Bachelor of Health Science in Dietetic and Nutritional Medicine. Both degrees included studies in psychology, counselling, and social dimensions of health.
Her latest book - What if…? How to reframe challenges into opportunities for growth – was written to help teens and adults learn and grow from tough ‘moments in time’
What if..? is available in print, ebook, and audio formats. It can be ordered into bookstores across Australia or bought online. For more information - visit bronwynfrazer.com.au