What sexual consent education should look like

Sexual harassment happens far too often, and too often it happens to girls under the age of 18.

That means teaching young people about consent around sexuality is critical, but it is complex as backgrounds, parental attitudes and societal norms come into play.

Technology has ushered in massive change and the smart phone, social media and the ubiquity of pornography have had a strong influence on how the young have come to regard sex and consent so education around it needs to evolve too.

Giselle Woodley a Researcher at the School of Arts and Humanities at Edith Cowan says, “Through our research, I have spoken to children who admitted to viewing and being addicted to pornography since 8 or 9 years old. I recently had someone tell me that at 9, they were terrified of ‘normal sex’ and knew they would only be interested in hardcore pornography and associated acts. For some, ‘monkey see, monkey do’ can be applied when it comes to pornography.

“When pornography operates as the limited or only source of sexual information it informs young people in terms of how to behave and what is deemed as appropriate. Young girls I have spoken to live under the daily threat of ‘rape jokes’ and predatory behaviours. In a world where porn is assisting, or at times the main spokesperson, educating our young people in terms of sexual information, supplementing that information with healthy knowledge is so imperative. Knowing boundaries, appropriate behaviours and ways in which to engage with others is so important.”

Most, if not all of us, have residual sex shame in some form or other, passed down from caregivers generationally and from traditional, religious or colonialist ideas.

“Some of us are not ok with viewing ourselves or others as sexual beings. When it comes to sexual assault, it is an uncomfortable topic that can stir unconscious emotions in individuals, many will revert to victim-blaming behaviours.

“It’s important to remember that no one is ever deserving of sexual violence, a person can be laying intoxicated in the street naked and if someone was to perform a sexual act on them, it would still be assault and non-consenting. However, that very sentence will invoke sexual shame in some, part of this is due to a lack of empathy and part due to social conditioning where we believe women should be covered up. This is inherent sexual shame manifesting and encroaching on our values and beliefs,” Woodley says.

Now sexual consent education has been mandated in schools through the curriculum review, its final form needs to be clarified. Presently, education around consent sits in a grey area between subjects and there are still instances where Relationships and Sexual Education (RSE) can be overlooked because of an overcrowded curriculum, time constraints or teachers and students feeling uncomfortable about it.

“There ideally needs to be an auditing process and a whole-school approach adopted so that consent education, which ultimately sits within RSE, doesn’t sit solely in the Health and Physical Education (HPE) learning area,” Woodley says.

“At the moment consent education sits within RSE and HPE, however RSE can be taught in different learning areas, for example power imbalances and gender stereotypes in English, biological characteristics of humans, including process of human sexual reproduction in Science, the biological sciences sub-strand at the time of public consultation during the curriculum review in 2021 did not specify humans.”

Ideally, training in the area would be mandated too. For students teachers, sexological units would be the best course of action and would form part of the Bachelor of Education/Masters of Education course structure, such as: https://handbook.curtin.edu.au/units/unit-pg-sexological-education--sxlg6004v1

“From our research, young people have shared that they are hyperaware of when a teacher feels uncomfortable or not particularly well trained or versed in the area. Young people also stated that consent education currently implemented in response to the #metoo and #march4justice movements have been poorly facilitated, often fear-based and did not acknowledge the reality that young people will and do engage in sexual or intimate behaviours.

“Feedback around online safety and sexting education for instance, often, according our participants, takes on a victim-blaming mentality and overlooks the positives and reality of young people courting in online spaces. A healthy balance in terms of the style and content of education in this area which addresses risks while not shaming the individual for engaging in such behaviours, which are part of modern dating practices, is important to minimise sex shame and the ability to be open about these experiences.

“Sexual Attitude Reassessment (SAR) would also be recommended. Everyone has boundaries and ideological beliefs that may be in conflict to their students’. Due to the sensitive nature of topics which RSE encompasses, it is imperative to be aware, empathetic and understanding of other values and belief systems, while remaining fairly impartial. A SAR enables an individual to explore, reassess and contemplate their own attitudes, behaviours and biases, particularly in terms of sexuality. This is the best way to balance the diversity of values and beliefs within a classroom in a non-judgemental manner,” she says.

More information on what a SAR entails here: https://www.aasw.asn.au/events/event/deep-dive-sexual-attitudes-reassessment

Some research indicates that the train-the-trainer model where the regular teacher is taught to provide RSE works best. This allows students to build trust, a rapport with their regular educator and allows ongoing conversations.

Another alternative is to provide specialised trained sexologists and specialists who are competent in the area and will use a sex-positive approach. At the moment, their use is dependent on individual schools and due to budgetary constraints, there is mixed implementation.

“Through our research, some young people we talked to stated that, although in the past the quality has varied, a visiting specialist works particularly well. The majority of the young people we talked to found that divulging to their consistent day-to-day teacher was too traumatising or embarrassing, stating that it would be easier to disclose to someone anonymously due to the fact there is little chance of seeing them again, so divulging private and personal matters therefore feels safer to adolescents and young people. This would lighten the pressure put on teachers too but would need some consideration in terms of school timetables to accommodate without overcrowding an already tight schedule.

Woodley says the research indicated that the quality of guest speakers had varied, so vigorous checks and universal training needed to be applied as part of an auditing process.

Ideally, one hour minimum should be dedicated to RSE each week. Due to the sensitive and challenging nature of teaching RSE, the idea is, if you can teach sex education, you can teach anything. Sessions should be fun, engaging, allow young people to develop their interpersonal and social skills and discuss within open and safe spaces.

“Some participants in our study spoke of large assemblies or outdated videos that are often put on to describe issues of consent, sexuality or appropriate behaviours online. Intimate and safe conversations and activities fostering vulnerability are far more engaging and successful at communicating and enacting these messages and require time.”

The parameters of what is included in sexual education are complex, given families and policy makers have their own concepts of what is appropriate relationship and sexual education.

“The nuances of what can be taught in schools is highly controversial and culturally complex. RSE can be viewed as part of a set of imperative life skills, as important as the basics of cooking, changing a tyre, time management and taxes.”

RSE involves communication skills, developing empathy, self-regulation, managing and maintaining healthy relationships of all kinds, conflict resolution, the nuances of consent such as how to navigate consent, retract it and manage rejection and coping with difficult emotions.

“If we all had these skills bestowed upon us, how much better would our working, familial and romantic relationships be? These are significant components to being human that are not necessarily inherent and our parents did not receive this education themselves, so how could we expect them to teach (or display) this to their own offspring?

“Relationships and Sexual education doesn't end at school however. Parents are encouraged to continue the conversation, where they can discuss their own attitudes, values and beliefs. The responsibility shouldn't always be on teachers but by mandating these aspects, it's an effective way to reach a majority of the population.

“If RSE is to be taught in schools, the implementation of a way to ask anonymous questions, such as a questions box or associated technology such as apps or websites that could digitally facilitate a similar engagement, could be useful in terms of maintaining anonymity and allowing students a safe space to inquire and express themselves.

“RSE including consent education needs to start earlier, maintain an open and sex-positive stance and include more aspects.

“Ultimately, many involved as educators, specialists, those within public-policy and advocacy have differing opinions on the specifics of the content and how RSE and consent education should be implemented. Despite what outcome is decided upon, it is imperative that visiting specialists and experts work together with educators to an effort to provide the most comprehensive, fit-for-purpose curriculum, content and teaching strategies possible,” Woodley says.

Some resources
Principles of best practice: https://www.shinesa.org.au/media/2019/08/SHINE-SA-Best-Practice-Principles-Final.pdf

UNESCO technical guidance: https://www.unfpa.org/sites/default/files/pub-pdf/ITGSE.pdf

Photo by Andrew Neel from Pexels